I still want a heart.

FIC: love song for the miserable

2009-12-12T09:12:52Z

Title: love song for the miserable
Pairings: Hinata Shintani / Misaki Ayuzawa
Series: Kaichou wa Maid-sama!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kaichou wa Maid-sama!
Summary: Sometimes Hinata wishes he could forget Misaki.

love song for the miserable
now it's over, i can still taste it on my tongue

Sometimes Hinata wishes he could forget Misaki.

It's impossible to catch her gaze, not when it's always lingering on Takumi Usui. And no matter how hard Hinata tries, it's futile. Hinata can't act aloof or impenetrable; he's the complete opposite. And it's painful to acknowledge the fact.

He tries different ways. He sticks to Misaki like glue, doesn't let her out of his sight - but at the same time, releases his grip slowly but surely. He remembers their childhood together, something that he cherishes because this memory with Misaki is something he has over Usui. Hinata feels jealously creep up his spine and into his heart and it doesn't stop.

Hinata is a glutton for attention. He refuses to give up on Misaki despite being fully aware of her and Usui's feelings for each other. He understands Misaki's stubbornness so well because he, himself cannot make himself forget. Hinata decides that Misaki having feelings for Usui and vice versa will not deter him. It gets too hard though when their feelings for each other are so apparent that the air gets harder for Hinata to breathe around them.

*

Sometimes Hinata just wants to call it quits.

But it's the little moments where Misaki - smiles at him with her eyes crinkling with unrestricted happiness, whispers "But I thought that you were amazing too", and shouts "SHINTANI!" that makes Hinata unable to not love Misaki even more.

First Kaichou wa Maid-sama! fic :) I love all the character dynamics but I wish that the comic was updated more regularly. It sucks having to wait ): "But I thought you were amazing too" is based on Chapter 44 if you didn't know :)

more at ● masterlist

FIC: with a heavy heart (i regret to inform you)

2009-12-08T06:05:48Z

Title: with a heavy heart (i regret to inform you)
Pairings: Wooyoung/Chansung, slight Wooyoung/Jaebeom
Fandom: 2PM
Disclaimer: 2PM is not mine. Any similarity between the fictional version of the persons portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction.
Summary: That was all there was to their story because Chansung screwed up and Wooyoung never gave second chances.
Note: Much, much love to envoler for beta-ing this fic. Thank you so much! :)

with a heavy heart
(i regret to inform you)

There was once a terribly simple story of heartache and regret.

Wooyoung breathed, heavy and slow. It has been too many weeks since that time, when he found Chansung in a heated embrace with an unknown woman. Immediately afterwards, Wooyoung had ended it.

'It' did not fall under the category of a relationship. It was a bond based on friendship, brotherhood, and trust which led to a relationship of convenience. Chansung needed someone to love, to fill up the emptiness that had been eating him up inside. The emptiness was a form of loneliness, something he's had ever since he started in 2PM, as the youngest and one who's never felt love. And Wooyoung needed someone to replace the heartache that Jaebeom left behind. Chansung provided the affection and the never-ending love that Wooyoung so desperately needed; whenever Wooyoung needed a pillar of strength, it was Chansung and only Chansung.

"We can't do this anymore," Wooyoung whispered. His tone is neither angry nor sad, only neutral but with a slight tremor behind it. Wooyoung could not afford to ruin Chansung's future; could not ruin a life that meant having a family. Chansung with a beautiful wife and children in a beautiful apartment complex with bright colors and pretty trinkets, Wooyoung could envision it all.

And so Wooyoung ended it swiftly, ignoring Chansung's cries of "We were just friends" and "Please don't leave me". He moved out of the living room and into Junho's room, leaving Chansung all alone. And Chansung, once again, was abandoned. With a heavy heart, realizing that forever never meant anything, Wooyoung ignored the ache in his heart and locked the memories away.

Wooyoung never allowed himself to mourn over their lost bliss but he could not avoid Chansung forever. They had these brief but intense encounters on stage, pouring their emotions into the music and then went home to arms that neither had a passion for. Wooyoung would wake up in the middle of the night in the arms of his new lover and would be uncomfortable against sharp ribs and gangly elbows and everything that was not Chansung. Wooyoung would moan, move to the side of the bed as far away as possible and fall back into a dreamless slumber. And that was all there was to their story because Chansung had screwed up and Wooyoung never gave second chances.

*

3:18AM.

Chansung leans against the edge of the balcony, unable to sleep yet again. Insomnia hits him hard and long, it's already been two weeks since Wooyoung left him. He lights up a cigarette, taking a deep drag and watches the smoke dissipate into the cold night air. He snorts in shame, berating himself for starting this new habit to replace the heartache. However, smoking wasn't an addiction for him, but a way to escape and a way to pass the time.

Chansung hears slight footsteps behind him but keeps his head down and doesn't turn around. He's so tired.

Wooyoung manoeuvres his way through the living room and stands behind Chansung's large frame, watching the way the cigarette dangles from Chansung's lean fingers. “We both knew it was never meant to last. There's no point in acting this way,” Wooyoung whispers. Chansung ignores Wooyoung's penetrating gaze that burns his back and continues to take large drags from his cigarette.

Chansung is so tired. Tired of this distance between Wooyoung and him. Tired of the other members constantly watching them with concern. Tired of waiting for someone who will never come back. And most importantly, so tired of being the one left behind all the time.

Chansung takes one last drag of his cigarette and flicks the stub away into the darkness beneath the balcony. He watches the flame flicker away and die. "You were always one to make things more difficult than they have to be," Chansung mutters. Chansung turns around with sad and tired eyes as Wooyoung looks up, meeting his eyes halfway with a steady gaze. "But it's okay. We both had our reasons." Chansung smiles weakly.

Wooyoung smiles sadly. He cups Chansung's face, gently strokes his face, and leans in to kiss Chansung on the lips. Chansung closes his eyes, savours the taste that is Wooyoung, and opens his eyes to an empty balcony.

For the first time in a long time, Chansung believes he'll be able to sleep.

I'm brilliant. While editing previous fics, I managed to delete 'Grasp' and I couldn't recover it. Sorry :(
Anyways Chansung/Wooyoung anyone? This is such a rare pairing and I don't think I've given this pairing justice. Again I'm sorry! :(

more at ● masterlist

FIC : ensanguine

2009-11-18T11:18:18Z

Title: ensanguine
Pairings: Gen
Series: Deadman Wonderland
Disclaimer: I don't own Deadman Wonderland.
Summary: An introduction of sorts; the taste of blood in their souls will never ever disappear.
Warning: R. Mentions of self-mutilation, blood, and gore.

ensanguine
1. To stain or cover with blood; to make bloody, or of a blood-red color; as, an ensanguined hue.
2. To cover or stain with, or as if, with blood.

The naughty little woodpecker
Knocked holes, crumbling the forest
The angry wood god turned his beak into poison!
The poor little woodpecker, his nest was poison, and his supper too
He touched his friends and they all died
The sad little woodpecker,
His little poison tears twinkle and shine.
- Deadman Wonderland

01.

That day Ganta wakes up to a nightmare.

In a random hospital, at the age of 14, his life already ends. The life he's always known, with his friends and his school, is over. He stares at the handcuffs that are cold and tight around his wrists, trying to comprehend the words that come out of the police officer's mouth. "You are under arrest as the primary suspect for the mass murder at the Fourth Prefectural Middle School of Nagano." And although Ganta's only 14, he knows the heavy weight and the punishment of those words. The insanity of the entire situation shocks him: the false accusations, the death of his friends, Mimi, and the end of his life.

Ganta bites the insides of his cheeks, feels the metallic taste of blood fill up his mouth, and screams.

02.

Without the lullaby, Shiro's hands bleed every night.

She rips the scabs and the scars on her hands with her teeth, her eyes red with insanity, and dreams. The pain is what keeps her mind intact. Keeps her from going out into the open to destroy. The thought of mindless killing sends a shiver down her body as she thinks back to that one special day. She remembers the one scene, staring into Ganta's eyes behind the mask, taking away everything he thought he held dear. But no, Shiro has fixed it: Ganta's everything was, is, and will always be Shiro and Shiro alone.

With blood stained lips and mangled bloody hands, Shiro laughs the night away.

03.

Yoh bleeds for money, for his sister, and for their freedom.

His blood is lukewarm and still every time it splatters onto the cold ground. He doesn't have his blood spike and twist in agony out of his skin in a form of a weapon, his blood just is. But Yoh's blood boils at the thought of Minatsuki's imprisonment - it boils with past memories of the earthquake. And every day, his blood is spilled for the purpose of saving Minatsuki and himself. His skin breaks apart easily with each punch, each kick, and each slash, his blood splattering everywhere. Yet no matter how many times he's beaten for lying and stealing and cheating, the fire in his eyes never extinguishes.

And as Yoh plasters another bandage on one of his cuts out of many, it bleeds through the cotton and colors his dirty body (and lying soul) an ugly red.

04.

Senji realizes that it's awkward to only see out of one eye.

The wound still aches and his brain still tries to contact his missing right eye. He remembers the sensation of his eye slowly ripping away from his socket, his screams the reverberated around the room, and the smell of his blood. But then he remembers the fight with Ganta, the exhilaration of losing and the motivation to get even stronger. And although it's a shame that Senji lost his right eye, he smiles and looks forward to another fight.

He wipes away the blood that trickles down from where his right eye used to be and places his eye patch on top, dead center.

05.

It's a difficult task when Minatsuki washes her back.

The scars still bleed from time to time, when Minatsuki's angry and scrubs too hard. The pain takes her mind off of things. Takes her mind off from the nightmares she gets of the falling bookcase that nearly killed her. And the hand that let go. She remembers her mother and her flowers; remembers the beauty shatter. Yoh comes in often to scrub her back gently, with the intentions of soothing her. He tries to stop the blood.

But Minatsuki's back still bleeds of her past. So she retreats back into her garden, raises each flower and destroys them the same way her mother raised and destroyed her.

06.

Secretly glad that there weren't that many women who were Deadman, Masaru relaxes.

He changes into a new outfit that accentuates the curves and length of his body. He smiles at how beautiful he looks, smiles at how dangerous he is when he kills. He applies his makeup thoroughly, never failing to look stunning as usual. But as he looks down at his nails, he frowns. And suddenly Masaru remembers the lovely women he had killed, remembers stabbing their faces with his nails, and ripping out their beauty.

Masaru glances down at his nails, stained forever a bloody red, from all the lovely women he's murdered and hisses in disgust.

07.

Hitara loves his daughter.

She might not be there with him physically but she's always in his mind. His beautiful daughter. His daughter that loves him back. He shuts his ears against all scrutiny and hears the same thing he's always wanted to hear, he hears her lovely whispers and her concerns. He ignores Masaru and his concerns, doesn't she hate you? Hitara loses himself; never sleeping but only listening to his daughter and her whispers.

Hitara listens to her deranged screams through his headphones and smiles patiently while ignoring his bleeding ears.

08.

It hurts when Nagi tries to speak, even through his voicebox.

The voice that comes out isn't his. It's mechanical and it's emotionless and it's dead. The box brings back memories of the Carnival Corpse and his dead wife - the blood that erupted from her belly and then a blackout. Sometimes Nagi wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming because of nightmares of him ripping people apart and murdering nonstop with someone's voice egging him on. Nagi screams to the point of suffocating himself as his throat clogs up with blood.

Nagi's voicebox oozes out blood, rusted and colored black, and all Nagi does is grasp his pendant tightly and pray for his child's safety in the outside world.

09.

The ache in Karako's chest doesn't go away.

It lingers like a bad heartache and slowly burns it way through her chest. She claws at her chest to remove the pain, sighing at the momentary intermission between the outside pain and the inside pain. She scratches and claws her chest without realizing she's drawn out blood. The pain accentuates whenever Nagi is around, whenever he smiles and whenever he dreams of the past. It hurts Karako because she cannot do anything but smile.

So she smiles a bright smile at Nagi, who only dreams of his (dead) child outside, and clenches her still bleeding chest from his view.

10.

Sakigami Toto's lips are a luscious red.

In comparison to his paper white skin and ghostly appearance, his red lips shine. He doesn't bleed but he rips. His skin separates with a rip and comes back together without fail. He smiles that insane smile as he remembers the wretched egg and all the fights. It's such a shame he's lost all his powers though but Toto shrugs it off and searches for prey. And when he gains back all his powers again, he'll face off against the wretched egg and delight in all the carnage.

He cuts another Deadman, tastes their blood and feels that blood run through his veins. Licking and coating his lips with blood, Toto grins.

sangui-, sanguio-, sanguin- + (blood in Latin)
Ensanguine
1. To stain or cover with blood; to make bloody, or of a blood-red color; as, an ensanguined hue.
2. To cover or stain with, or as if, with blood.

First Deadman Wonderland fic :) I love this manga so much. Definitely not the average manga.
I tried to find different parts of each character's body to bleed. It was kind of ... challenging I guess. The funniest thing about these snippets was that I thought of blood before I remembered that blood was literally the whole purpose of DW hahaha faaail.

more at ● masterlist

7 = 1

2009-11-04T05:05:47Z

I’m going crazy while waiting for you
Every single day feels like a year
I’m waiting
I’m getting tired of waiting

It feels like you could come back any second
It feels like I could just turn around and see you
I’m just getting tired, I’m just getting tired

screenshots taken from taecyeon's minihompy
hey taec, i love you sfm.

apparently, these were posted by KHottests? :\
I'm not really sure how minihompy works but maybe this is his guestbook but then again, i'm really not sure.

FIC : Grasp

2009-10-28T08:05:42Z

Title: Grasp
Pairings: Junho / Jaebeom
Fandom: 2PM
Disclaimer: 2PM is not mine. Any similarity between the fictional version of the persons portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction.
Summary: And maybe if he stood still for a few more seconds, maybe, just maybe, Junho could have grasped his lonely hand.

Grasp

deleted because of pure idiocy.
+ livejournal editing fail.
sorry!

more at ● masterlist

FIC : Dropping Bombs

2009-10-06T07:43:47Z

Title: Dropping Bombs
Character: Park Jaebeom
Fandom: 2PM
Disclaimer: 2PM is not mine. Any similarity between the fictional version of the persons portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction.
Summary: Despite the sadness from being isolated, afraid, alone, and more - he laughs out loud at the name, "Jaybomb."

Dropping Bombs
tick tock tick tock
screams the little clock
tick tock tick tock
...

Watching KOMO4, Jaebeom feels surprised, angered, and even betrayed. For the first time, he's extremely upset at his 'fans' because of their actions. That banner flying in the air even now has raised up eyes and questions of those around him causing video cameras to surround his house and church and neighborhood. Right outside his house, people watch from the distance at that reporter who does a special live.

Maybe in the past, he would've felt honored. Because he was a real celebrity.

Not anymore though.

He's angry at himself for bringing so much pain and trouble to his family. His mother smiles through weary eyes and kisses him on his forehead and cheeks, constantly reminding him, "I'm so glad you're back home," in English because she knows how much he doesn't want (need) to hear Korean. His father stays silent, wasn't a man of much words, but clasps his hands on Jaebeom's strong (yet so weak) shoulders. "Toughen up. This won't kill you." English, english, english, no more Korean. Jaehan grins (without that twinkle in his eye) because he's so tired of staying home but he sticks with his brother because he loves him and his love is all he can give.

Through circumstances, they're a family again. A real one; not a family that has had its eldest son in a completely different country, hours away, without much visits. A real family that eats together at the dinner table, watches television together, and so much more.

Sometimes Jaebeom feels like he doesn't belong.

No matter how much Jaehan punches his shoulders with a grin (so American-like) and tells him jokes and things that have happened in the past, Jaebeom cannot relate to it anymore. His self-identity is crumbling to pieces around him, a ticking bomb, waiting to explode. Korean? American? Korean American? What was the difference?

Jaehan jumps onto the couch next to Jaebeom, sprawls his arms and legs everywhere (just like how Chansung used to be) and turns on the television. KOMO4 news appears and Jaehan immediately tries to turn it off.

It's too bad Jaebeom was always much faster and stronger.

"The spotlight is on Korean American singer and dancer, Jaybomb. Also known as Jay Park in the U.S. He's the former leader of the boyband 2PM."

For some reason, Jaebeom laughs out loud; the first laughter in days (weeks). Jaehan stares in amazement because Jaebeom's on the couch, laughing his heart out to the extent of tears streaming down his cheeks. Jaehan starts to laugh as well; laughs at that reporter's ridiculous pronunciation of his brother's name. Why say Jaybomb if he's already mentioned Jay Park?

They laugh and laugh the day away.

Jaehan grins. A real grin this time. He's relieved that KOMO4, dropping bombs on them, has managed to make his brother laugh like before. Smiling wildly, he thanks the reporter and his horrible pronunciation because as he glances at his brother chuckling and smiling, he feels like he's on top of the world again.

Jaebeom might be a bomb. A bomb that's ticking and tocking and waiting to explode one day. While Jaebeom might think that explosion would be due to his loss of self-identity, Jaehan believes that explosion will be Jaebeom's recovery and comeback. And that Jaebeom will prove to the world once again that he's invincible and the world's greatest.

...
tick tock tick tock
show them what you got.

OKAY. Jaybomb. This is for you. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH. Come back soon as a stronger and more confident person. I know you can do it! I hope this wasn't too sad of a fic. And sorry for the crappiness of this story, I started and finished this story in less than 10 minutes so it's probably really bad. Anyways, HAVE HEART EVERYONE! The king is not dead.

more at ● masterlist

FIC: Blindsight

2009-07-20T18:11:33Z

Title: Blindsight
Pairings: Nichkhun / Wooyoung, slight Nichkhun / Minho
Fandom: 2PM
Disclaimer: 2PM is not mine. Any similarity between the fictional version of the persons portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction.
Summary: Wooyoung's a realist, not an idealist.

Blindsight
I don't know when I began to feel your eyes on me, Nichkhun. On me, every time I go out the door or leave the room. It's nerve-wracking and I honestly don't know what to do. All I can do is come up with wild guesses.

Maybe you like the way my new hair's styled up for our promotion. Or maybe it's what I'm wearing today; if you like it, I can lend it to you if you lend me your watch. No? Is it because I have something on my face? Is it because you hate me? Ah, it must be that I'm nothing like Minho - that boy you keep smiling at whenever he's around. You keep me spinning around in circles and I'm never ever going to stop unless you tell my why and why and why do you stare at me? I'm spinning around so hard that I've come up with this unfathomable reason/excuse/lie/wish that maybe (my wildest guess and biggest desire), maybe you actually love me the same way I love you?

Of course not. I'm a pessimist not an optimist, that way my heart won't break so easily. And there's no way in hell that you, Nichkhun, will ever love me back. So I'll close my heart yet again and I'll smile for you that same old "best friend" smile even though I know you and your piercing eyes can see right through me.

But I'll keep hiding.

Acid ↔ Blindsight

Here's Wooyoung's POV in contrast with Nichkhun's in Acid. :) I hope you guys enjoy. I don't think I've done a good enough job in this though. :| The characterization phails and there's too much angst haha oh wells.

more at ● masterlist

FIC: Acid

2009-07-13T17:51:03Z

Title: Acid
Pairings: Nichkhun / Wooyoung, slight Nichkhun / Minho
Fandom: 2PM
Disclaimer: 2PM is not mine. Any similarity between the fictional version of the persons portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction.
Summary: Nichkhun's just about tasted nearly everything sweet but rejection, he thinks.

Acid
I've tasted nearly everything sweet. Sweets and delicacies from America, New Zealand, Thailand, Korea, and more. But days go by and I start to wonder constantly and these thoughts don't leave my head. But all I can do is imagine; I don't dare try and find out.

What do your lips taste like, Wooyoung? Do they taste like candy, like I dream? Like the ones I eat everyday? Do they taste like strawberries, green apples, grapes, or lychees? Do they taste like sweet cherries and chocolate with caramel and French vanilla? What about waffles with syrups and whipped cream? Or maybe they taste like peaches, sometimes sour and sometimes sweet, like Minho's? But no, you aren’t anything like Minho and your lips can’t taste like pink peaches, nor apricots, not even like the rainbow with its thousand colors... I’ve tasted so many flavors but not yours, not yet, and I don’t dare to try, because, what if they don’t taste like candy but like bittersweet rejection?

I don't think I can take it.

Acid ↔ Blindsight

more at ● masterlist

FIC: World's Greatest

2009-01-20T13:07:02Z

Title: World's Greatest
Pairings: Mizumachi / Kakei
Series: Eyeshield 21
Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21.
Summary: So chin up, don't fall down, stand up, be tall.

World's Greatest

Mizumachi never had to try.

He was always that sort of genius who, even though he never noticed, could do anything without effort and without fail - generally in sports, mind you. Academics, he needed to put in more.

So each day, he'd laze about and play around.

Yet his skills never deteriorated. Anything, sports-wise, was incredibly easy and he never had to try. So what was the point in doing things full-heartedly? Mizumachi never understood. So it goes.

That all changed when he met Kakei - Kakei who pushed him harder than ever, actually breaching his physical prowess as he gets tired and tired. Swimming has never been this hard, Mizumachi thinks.

Sometimes Mizumachi wonders why he even tries, or started to try. He could excel in other sports for sure. He could always quit football and leave Kakei alone. But he can't.

Because he's not a quitter, he's a king - and he can never ever abandon Kakei. So he sucks it up and puts his chin up and tries and tries again; for Kakei.

As a Poseidon giant with Kakei next to him and they're on top of the world; the feeling's so great and so powerful that he has to try and try to stay on top.

With Kakei, most importantly.
____

Kakei always had to try.

Ever since he went to America, he found out that he was not the best. Which was a huge blow to him because in the past, he considered himself the world's greatest. What a shame, what a shame.

So each day, he'd play hard practice hard and fight hard.

However to no avail, he believed. The Americans were built stronger and harder with better figures and a natural inborn talent in the world of American Football. He could never reach them. So it goes.

That all changed when he met Mizumachi. Such a talented boy with so much in the future - someone who never had to try. Unknowingly, Mizumachi had changed something in Kakei. That standing besides a genius could improve himself as well.

Sometimes though, Kakei wonders why he's even friends with Mizumachi. The talented genius is too good for him, can reach the top of the world in no time, without even trying. But he is.

Because he can't stop laughing whenever Mizumachi's around and he can't open himself up to anyone else but Mizumachi. Anything for Mizumachi, he believes, anything.

As a Poseidon giant with Mizumachi (such a genius and a good friend), they're standing together on top of the world and Kakei believes that he can do anything for once; that for now he can feel without trying to.

Only when Mizumachi's around though.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2009-01-02T18:44:56Z

Well geez.
I've been on a haitus for some time eh?
SORRY. I'll still be away for a while.
I'll make this super duper huge icon post to make it up to all of you! D:
It's just that being a senior at the age of 16 is quite ... mind boggling - but I'm done with my applications and everything else! All I have to do is work on my APs HAHA D:

OH,
which reminds me...

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2009!
OHNINE OHSOFINE.

paper cranes for peace

2008-08-21T16:26:09Z

cranes for peace
instead of dropping bombs, airplanes should be carrying hope

♚ ICON BATCH II

2008-08-08T17:48:37Z

☆ amatsuki → 32
☆ angel sanctuary → 12
☆ bleach → 8
☆ d.gray-man → 15 + [ 3 FOB banners ]
☆ deadman wonderland → 10
☆ eyeshield 21 → 6
☆ fairy tail → 15
☆ katekyo hitman reborn! → 12
☆ naruto → 9
☆ one piece → 7
☆ ouran koukou host club → 15
TOTAL → one hundred forty one & three 'friends only' banners

preview	preview	preview

amatsuki

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

angel sanctuary

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

bleach

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

d.gray-man

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	★

deadman wonderland

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	★	★

eyeshield 21

1	2	3	4

5	6	★	★

fairy tail

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	★

katekyo hitman reborn!

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

naruto

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	★	★	★

one piece

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	★

ouran koukou host club

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	★

OHMYGOD!
I finally come up with an icon post! I hope you guys like this since this is a MAJOR one. Woah. Yup so I hope you guys enjoy it and please follow the rules below. :)
Anyways did anyone watch the 2008 Olympic Ceremony!? I thought it was awesome. Ahaha I'm proud to be Chinese! :D

FIC: topsy turvy

2008-08-07T08:39:39Z

Title: topsy turvy
Pairings: Sora / Riku / Kairi
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.
Summary: Riku’s not supposed to be the enemy, Sora’s not supposed to cry, Kairi’s not supposed to be missing, and they rikusorakairi aren’t supposed to be here.

topsy turvy

That grin died long ago. The Sora-grin. That unconditionally loving wide smile that was so impossibly wide, it sparked a light to each and every single person around him. The grin that made everyone believe that everything would be alright, that nothing would ever go wrong because Sora’s here and he’s smiling and that’s all that matters.

But even the widest grin could die. All you need to do is to kill it and break it apart piece by piece. It broke just a little when the Heartless and the darkness devoured worlds; it cracked an inch when Riku disappeared, it chinked when Kairi flew right past him. And for some reason, that only happened in one day. Oh but Sora has such a wide smile. Nothing can break it and nothing ever will, people smile. When Sora smiles, they smile, because Sora cannot not smile.

But when he finds Kairi, laying their like a lifeless doll with vacant eyes and drooping limbs, he can’t help but cry out in despair. There’s no smile and Donald and Goofy can’t help but shiver when that smile’s gone. Goofy backs away and falls off the stairs and leaves Donald and Sora to deal with Riku. With a flick of his wrist, Riku’s thrown Donald away and summons up a barrier as easy as saying ABC.

When Sora fights against Riku, he’s frowning against the tears because that smile’s gone. Riku’s done it. Riku’s broke it apart, I am the keyblade master and you were only the delivery boy now run along Sora - oh and here’s a toy sword, come on you always loved to play pretend, wait - why aren’t you smiling I thought you always smiled, and Riku doesn’t seem like he’s sorry.

And when that smile’s gone, everything’s topsy-turvy and everything’s not what it’s meant to be. Riku’s not supposed to be the enemy, Sora’s not supposed to frown and cry, Kairi’s not supposed to be missing, and they (rikusorakairi) aren’t supposed to be here.

With one last battle cry, Sora thinks he's about to die.

NOTE ; Okay, so this is my first KH fic? I guess, haha. I have a lot written down somewhere but I'm not sure if I'm going to upload them all up, haha. Anyways, I posted this fic up because I suck since I was gone for so long AGAIN -__-;; but no worries, I was preparing this huge (HUMONGOUS) icon batch no.2! So watch out for that! :)BEIJING WELCOMES YOU 2008! :DD ONE MORE DAY TO GOOOO!

FIC: Countdowns

2008-06-08T15:01:58Z

KANDA YUU ; June 6th

Title: Countdowns
Pairings: Kanda Yuu / Lavi
Series: D.Gray-Man
Disclaimer: I don't own D.Gray-Man.
Summary: “See Yuu? You’ve lived another year.”

Countdowns

Kanda’s a year older.

He’s nineteen now but that doesn’t mean much right? He’s an adult now, a man who would lead a healthy strong life right?

… Not so much.

He knows better; his life is shortening every second every minute every hour and these stupid “birthdays” are just a ticking bomb that shows how much less he has to live for.

What irritates him is not that he has got a year less to live for but the fact that every single person in the Black Order wants a birthday celebration. He doesn’t get it. They know; everyone knows (or doesn’t) how much time he has left, that being a year older reduces one year of living – a longer life! But in actuality, he knows that’s not the case.

He can see Lenalee’s hands shaking as she hands him a present, can see Reever’s uncomfortable gaze as he scratches his hand and wishes him a wonderful birthday; he can see everyone’s nervousness because they all know that Kanda has one less year to live. And it makes him feel so much angrier.

He’s suddenly engulfed in a hug; he smells withered pages and the forest and he instantly knows it’s Lavi. Lavi had probably been reading another old boring novel about history on a field while smiling and feeling the wind at the same time but don’t ask Kanda why he knows this, he just does. Lavi smiles and grins and hugs and coddles Kanda with affectionate smiles and Kanda wants to barf.

It’s too fake, he knows. Because Kanda’s being read under Lavi’s smiles but at the same time Kanda knows Lavi’s fake, a fake, a fake. Why is he so happy? Kanda’s got a year less to live. Why is Lavi so happy?

Lavi smiles and whispers into his ear, their little secret perhaps.

“See Yuu? You’ve lived another year.”

Kanda freezes.

“I know you’ve never thought of it this way but …”

And maybe; Lavi’s not so fake after all – maybe Lavi’s known what Kanda has been trying to hide all these years.

“I’ve been counting … and I’ll keep counting for you.”

FIC: Tonight

2008-03-22T17:48:44Z

Title: Tonight
Pairings: Kanda Yuu / Lavi
Series: D.Gray-Man
Disclaimer: I don't own D.Gray-Man.
Summary: And hopefully tomorrow won’t come.

Tonight

Footsteps echoed across an empty hallway, soft and weary. A shadow loomed over with exhaustion written all over. A boy, no older than fourteen, trudged through numerous doors and stopped in front of one.
‘LAVI & KANDA’ was messily scrawled onto a piece of paper that was taped onto the door.

Sighing, the boy turned the handle slowly and walked inside. It was empty with a distinctive air of loneliness. Avoiding the comfy chair and the soft bed, he sank onto the floor and pressed himself against the wall. Bringing his knees up to his chest, he sucked in a harsh breath and closed his eyes.

Hearing the door creak open, he looked up to confused green eyes and messy red hair.

“Yuu…” the boy murmured, “Welcome back…”

Blinking angrily at Lavi, he muttered, “You’re still up…”

“Is something wrong, Yuu?” Please open up to me, please please please, I want to help you. Please tell me…

“Another petal died,” he whispered.

Lavi, shocked and hurt and everything that could’ve been felt at that moment was felt as he shuddered involuntarily. Crouching down, he reached for Kanda and pressed their bodies close together.

I’m not going to lose you - no no no no no - that’ll never happen I won’t lose you to that person.
Of hidden truths and unshed tears, Lavican’t help but hug Kanda tighter because he thinks that if he lets go, Kanda will disappear and that’s not okay.

“It’ll be the same again for tomorrow, so let’s just stay like this for now.”

“…Only for tonight”

“…Okay.”

Because tomorrow, Kanda will become strong and cold and will ignore the fact that he’s one step closer to death. And Laviwill become cheerful and goofy and will grin while teasing Kanda with nicknames and childish gestures.

But tonight, they’ll stay like this – away from the world, and hopefully tomorrow won’t come.

♚ ICON BATCH I

2008-02-05T13:18:59Z

☆ angel sanctuary → 15
☆ bleach → 18
☆ d.gray-man → 13
☆ dogs → 13
☆ eyeshield 21 → 7
☆ ouran koukou host club → 12 + [ 2 FOB banners ]
TOTAL → seventy-eight icons & two 'friends only' banners

preview	preview	preview

angel sanctuary

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	★

#7 won second place [ week 35 ] at angesiconawards

bleach

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	★	★

#2 won second place [ week 07 ] at arrancar_awards
#3 won best interpretation [ week 127 ] at bleach_icontest
#5 won third place [ week 129 ] at bleach_icontest
#6 won third place [ week 10 ] at arrancar_awards
#8 won first place [ week 47 ] at gotei13_awards
#9 won best cropped [ week 50 ] at gotei13_awards
#16 won most emotional [ week 161 ] at bleach_icontest

d.gray-man

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	★	★	★

DOGS

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	★	★	★

eyeshield 21

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	★

ouran koukou host club

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

FIC: Buttons

2007-12-29T11:07:07Z

Title: Buttons
Pairings: Kanda Yuu / Rabi
Series: D.Gray-Man
Disclaimer: I don't own D.Gray-Man.
Summary: There are many things that Kanda hates.

Buttons

Kanda hates loud noises and sweet things and talkative chatter and bright lights and the earl millennium and the noahs and akumas and bean sprouts and finders and candy and books and intelligence and – god, the list can go on and on and on.

But most especially, Kanda hates people who push his buttons.

At first, Allen thought that he was under that category and that sort of frightened him. But then he realized that his existence wasn’t that much of a problem after their first mission together, much to his relief. There is one another person who knows when and how to push Kanda’s buttons anytime and it surprises Allen.

( any guesses any guesses any guesses any guesses any guesses any guesses )

Kanda hates him and despises him and loathes him and cringes at the sight of him but Allen thinks he’s just hiding what he’s feeling deep inside.

But honestly, Allen doesn’t know. He doesn’t know Kanda that much; he doesn’t call Kanda by his first name, he doesn’t sling his arm over Kanda’s shoulders ( he can’t anyways since he’s shorter than him ) and he most certainly doesn’t give small pecks to Kanda’s cheeks.

No way, Allen doesn’t want to die that easily. Allen would prefer saving the world and dying than to dying needlessly under Kanda’s wrath.

It’s weird, Allen thinks. Because Kanda usually has a distance between the rest of the world and if anyone crosses his personal space, it would usually end up in kissing Mugen but whenever that person crosses it, he just swears and glares.

Sometimes, Allen would catch a bit of dusty pink on Kanda’s cheek and time would stop. Because seriously, Kanda blushing?! It can’t be.

You’re an idiot, beansprout. I’m not blushing.

Then afterwards, it would usually end up with an enraged Kanda wielding Mugen and shouting…

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, LAVI?!

Because Lavi would coo, call him Yuu, and would kiss him on the cheek … which would result to him running off, cackling like the devil.

Allen thinks they’re friends with privileges, nothing more and nothing less. It’s hard for relationships to bloom in the Organization because you never know when the other would die. And Lavi's a bookman and Kanda’s time is running out.

Kanda thinks Allen’s an idiot whilst Lavi thinks Allen’s just a little bit naïve.

Allen thinks their relationship ( best friend privilege, friendship, benefits ) will never flourish because this is war and war comes with death and there are possibilities and always incongruities.

Kanda scoffs and Lavi smiles because …

It already has.

FIC: Not Smart

2007-09-23T15:38:24Z

Title: Not Smart
Pairings: Akaba / Koutarou, slight Koutarou / Julie
Series: Eyeshield 21
Disclaimer: I don't own Eyeshield 21.
Summary: It wasn't smart the way Akaba stares at him sometimes, he doesn't like the feeling at all.

Not Smart

That's not smart, Koutarou decides.

It wasn't smart the way Akaba stares at him sometimes, he doesn't like the feeling at all. Like he's something to eat. He doesn't understand why it sends shivers up his spine and tingles throughout his body. Especially when they're playing american football because, god damn it, it makes him lose his concentration and whoops, he misses the goal post. Again.

"If you're hungry, get some damn food." He remembers saying it once, after he misses the fourth time in a row, gritting his teeth in annoyance.

"Fuu~ I'm not," was the not smart reply. Koutarou thinks it's kind of weird; they were hardly into the harder part of the practice but Akaba's already red in the face. A light pink settling over his nose and around his cheeks. Weird.

He decides it really wasn't smart, the way Akaba always chooses him for demonstrations, claiming that his shift's the most easiest to distinguish. Bastard. And he most definately does not like the way Akaba looks at him when he's flat on his butt and curses. Akaba looks at him strange, there's an unreadable expression deep in his fake-red eyes that makes him shiver.

And when practice is done, things get even more complicated. Whenever he talks about Julie, complains about how Julie doesn't accept his invitation, how cute Julie looks today, Akaba grunts and tunes his guitar. That's not smart, yo. He's supposed to listen, to help Koutarou with his problems, not make them worse.

Suddenly, he's hit something.

"Wait a minute, don't tell me. You're jealous?!"

"... Of who?"

Weirdly enough, Akaba looks kind of hopeful. As if he wants Koutarou to say something that'd determine the future. His eyes are brighter than usual and his fingers stop strumming his guitar, it makes Koutarou think, "Hah, now this is smart." He's got Akaba's attention now.

"Of me, of course! Dude, no way. That's not smart. You can't like her. I mean, come on. That's really not smart."

And suddenly, Akaba looks away and Koutarou thinks he's done something bad. Akaba's fingers start to twitch, itching to play a note, anything because there's an odd silence between them.

He opens his mouth and Koutarou widens his eyes.

"... You're an idiot."

Yes, Koutarou thought as he prepared himself for a war of spitting. That's definately not smart.

got me lovestoned.

2007-07-19T09:00:28Z

omfg. i can't believe i actually made these. O__O"
oh well, it's summer. :)
note: i am a big kanda yuu/lavi [d.gray-man] shipper. seriously. you can obviously tell from this post. xD
and why? it's because their love is so canon apart from allen/kanda and lavi/allen but whatever. lavi calls him yuu! c'mon! :D:D rabiyuu ; c'mon. you know you want to.

d.gray-man → 6 (+3 profile layouts) OMFG, THEY MATCH! :D:D

1	2	3

4	5	6

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Sed nisl justo, luctus in, porta id, convallis ac, augue. Sed eleifend condimentum purus. In fermentum magna lacinia dolor. Sed bibendum, tellus vel blandit tincidunt, velit pede blandit diam, eget sodales sem ante vel dui. Aenean tellus. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec sodales ligula sed enim. Integer non mauris. Proin dignissim, tellus eu lacinia ultricies, pede odio adipiscing magna, ut venenatis massa nibh quis magna.

LINK LINK LINK

profile by charsomnia

<img alt="" src="http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u111/charsomnia/banners/profile/lovestoned.jpg" /></center><center class="ljcut" text="they've got me lovestoned."><table cellspacing="1" cellpadding="1" width="400"><tbody><tr><td valign="top" bgcolor="#ffffff">Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Sed nisl justo, luctus in, porta id, convallis ac, augue. Sed eleifend condimentum purus. In fermentum magna lacinia dolor. Sed bibendum, tellus vel blandit tincidunt, velit pede blandit diam, eget sodales sem ante vel dui. Aenean tellus. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec sodales ligula sed enim. Integer non mauris. Proin dignissim, tellus eu lacinia ultricies, pede odio adipiscing magna, ut venenatis massa nibh quis magna. <a href="http://charsomnia.livejournal.com/">LINK</a>  <a href="http://charsomnia.livejournal.com/">LINK</a>  <a href="http://charsomnia.livejournal.com/">LINK</a>  </td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#e3e8eb"><div align="right">profile by <a target="_blank" href="http://charsomnia.livejournal.com/">charsomnia</a></div></td></tr></tbody></table> </center>

username.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Sed nisl justo, luctus in, porta id, convallis ac, augue. Sed eleifend condimentum purus. In fermentum magna lacinia dolor. Sed bibendum, tellus vel blandit tincidunt, velit pede blandit diam, eget sodales sem ante vel dui. Aenean tellus. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec sodales ligula sed enim. Integer non mauris. Proin dignissim, tellus eu lacinia ultricies, pede odio adipiscing magna, ut venenatis massa nibh quis magna.

LINKS LINKS LINKS CHARSOMNIA

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" width="300" align="center" bgcolor="#ffffff"><tbody><tr><td bgcolor="#000000">username. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Sed nisl justo, luctus in, porta id, convallis ac, augue. Sed eleifend condimentum purus. In fermentum magna lacinia dolor. Sed bibendum, tellus vel blandit tincidunt, velit pede blandit diam, eget sodales sem ante vel dui. Aenean tellus. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec sodales ligula sed enim. Integer non mauris. Proin dignissim, tellus eu lacinia ultricies, pede odio adipiscing magna, ut venenatis massa nibh quis magna. <a href="http://charsomnia.livejournal.com/">LINKS</a> <a href="http://charsomnia.livejournal.com/">LINKS</a> <a href="http://charsomnia.livejournal.com/">LINKS</a> <a href="http://charsomnia.livejournal.com/">CHARSOMNIA</a></td><td bgcolor="#000000"><center><img alt="" src="http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u111/charsomnia/banners/profile/heaven.jpg" />

</center><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5" width="300" align="center" bgcolor="#f5f5f5"><tbody><tr><td bgcolor="#ffffff">username. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Sed nisl justo, luctus in, porta id, convallis ac, augue. Sed eleifend condimentum purus. In fermentum magna lacinia dolor. Sed bibendum, tellus vel blandit tincidunt, velit pede blandit diam, eget sodales sem ante vel dui. Aenean tellus. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec sodales ligula sed enim. Integer non mauris. Proin dignissim, tellus eu lacinia ultricies, pede odio adipiscing magna, ut venenatis massa nibh quis magna. <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/stc/fck/editor/charsomnia.livejournal.com">LINKS</a> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/stc/fck/editor/charsomnia.livejournal.com">LINKS</a> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/stc/fck/editor/charsomnia.livejournal.com">LINKS</a> <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/stc/fck/editor/charsomnia.livejournal.com">CHARSOMNIA</a></td><td bgcolor="#ffffff"><img alt="" src="http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u111/charsomnia/banners/profile/capitalvices.jpg" /> </td></tr></tbody></table>

iconfiend100 ⇒ Crisis Core

2007-07-11T08:05:21Z

Artist: charsomnia
Series: Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core - General Series
Theme set: Delta
Theme(s): dice - doubt - alien - eve - gravity - crazy about you - melody - promise - heavy - resurrection - one last time - we might as well be strangers - change your mind
Updated: 8/14/2008
Completed: 38/100
Credits: found in resources

prologue	dice	doubt	pose	tell me

scream	touched	suspect	alien	eve

stay	meet again	reality under the sun	gravity	white out

a vision	tonight	crazy about you	imitation love	sincerely yours

melody	chaos	promise	sacrifice	two for tragedy

wanderlust	the crying game	at the bottom of everything	clocks	daylight

warning sign	a rush of blood to the head	heavy	shine	run

precious declaration	the world I know	next homecoming	listen	join me in death

razorblade kiss	resurrection	one last time	we might as well be strangers	your eyes open

can’t stop now	I was never born	change your mind	midnight show	epilogue

51 AC	52 AC	53 AC	54 AC	55 AC

56 AC	57 AC	58 AC	59 AC	60 AC

61 AC	62 AC	63 AC	64 AC	65 AC

66 AC	67 AC	68 AC	69 AC	70 AC

71 AC	72 AC	73 AC	74 AC	75 AC

76 AC	77 AC	78 AC	79 AC	80 AC

81 AC	82 AC	83 AC	84 AC	85 AC

86 AC	87 AC	88 AC	89 AC	90 AC

91 AC	92 AC	93 AC	94 AC	95 AC

96 AC	97 AC	98 AC	99 AC	100 AC

♚ RULES
01. Comment please; I'd love to hear what you all think about my icons.
02. Credit is mandatory.
03. Don't alter anything that is blank unless I say they are.
04. Do not hotlink; that's badddd, very baddd.
05. Requests will not be taken unless I come up with a post that allows requests.

Wait, how can I credit?

Woah, I've been gone for so LONG! :O But I hope you guys like the updated icons and I'll try my best to finish them soon!!! Crisis CORE!!! Oh by the way, do you guys like the new header? HAHA, I love it. Like, so much. :DD I love you Zack.

poppopPOP.

2007-06-20T13:09:14Z

some are a bunch of icons from contests. (so i'm very sorry if you've seen some of these already)
and some aren't. :D

d.gray-man → 9
bleach → 9

1	2	3	4	5

6	7	8	9	10

1	2	3	4	5

6	7	8	9	10

Rules:
» Please credit if taking.
» Comments are love.
» Do not hotlink. That's bad.
» Textless aren't bases unless stated otherwise.
» Do not alter whatsoever.

awards

2007-03-16T15:19:08Z

AWARDS

arrancar_awards

bleach_icontest!

dgray_awards!

dn_stillness!

gotei13_awards!